Premier League - Transfer Talk: Little and large

cchl8

African-American poet Maya Angelou put it best when she said, "Diversity makes for a rich tapestry", but little did she know Mark Hughes would base his Manchester City blueprint on her verse.
  














Not content with attempting to prise giant fat man Ronaldo from an all-night Krispy Kreme in Milan, Angelou fan Hughes is now closing in on a £9 million deal for the delightfully diminutive Shaun Wright-Phillips.
If Chelsea take an £11m loss on the England winger as expected, good old Robinho's move to the Bridge could finally happen - ending a saga so painfully dull it has led to three Eurosport-Yahoo! journalists chewing their arms off in frustration.
The price tag on the Robster is a meagre £28m, the bulk of which will help Real Madrid cut their outstanding debts to a manageable £897 trillion.
Another player being linked to the Premier League's equivalent of Paris Hilton - ubiquitous, disgustingly rich and vacuous - is Seville striker Luis Fabiano, who would provide the Robster with a little taste of home.
Then there's Kaka, who may be tempted by a £200k/week offer from the Blues, but whose strong affiliation to Jesus would surely be challenged by life under Peter Kenyon.
Away from the Dark Lord, Everton, the Premier equivalent of The Feeling - bland, predictable and reminiscent of an outfit from the late 70s - are tracking Guinean defender Kamil Zayatte.
The 23-year-old currently plies his trade for Swiss side Young Boys Bern, a club whose website must surely attract some undesirable attention, and a figure of £2.5m has been plucked from the ether.
On to Wigan, the Premier League equivalent of Les Dennis (that one needs no explanation), who are attempting to snare South Korean international Chu-Young Park from FC Seoul with an offer of £2.5m plus a £15 voucher for JJB Sports.
Robbie Fowler next, who is doing a decent impression of Bez from the Happy Mondays by dancing around pointlessly at Blackburn asking for a full contract. There are football teams in Asia and Australia Robert, who will pay you LOTS OF MONEY. Put down the breadsticks.
Finally, what kind of TT would be complete without a mention of Dimitar Berbatov, the Premier League equivalent of a whore, who is being threatened with the cold shoulder by his Tottenham team-mates.
It is just TT, or does the idea of Jermaine Jenas, Jonathan Woodgate and Co. refusing to talk to you sound rather pleasant?